Chronicle (2012)

Genre: Action

Running Time: 83 min

Plot: Highschoolers don't mind their own business and snoop in places they shouldn't go. Three teens find a crevasse and explore inside and find a mysterious meteor/orb that grants them powers equal to "Phoenix" in X-men.

The movie focuses around a bullied teen with his new friends and their superhuman telekinetic powers. Just like other bullied teens, when they get the power to fight back, shit hits the fan and people start dying.

Review: My first thought was that this was going to be a combination of "The Covenant" and "Cloverfield." I was very close to my hunch, but was shockingly really well made. The story might not be super original but was entertaining through out the entire movie. I think everyone wonders what they would do if you could control objects with their mind and dream to be a superhero.

The movie is hilarious because all of the stunts and pranks they do with their powers. The teddybear scene telling the young girl to stay in school makes the movie worth watching. The movie gains intensity due to the violence of the young Leonardo DiCaprio characters' father and school jackasses. The young male form of Jean Grey gets overwhelmed and his emotions take over and he transforms into the Dark Phoenix which causes death and destruction in Seattle. There is great tension between the three young super heroes and the climax is an epic superman battle that reminds me of "Hancock" but more intense. Overall, it's a great movie to watch if you are a superhero fan, or want to see a creative reason why you should never mess with the weird kid in school.

Quote you might say after watching this: "I want to be a superhero! If Leo can do it, so can I!"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 8.5/10 bottles

Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (1977)

Genre: Musical

Running Time: 48 min

Plot: A poor otter family risks everything they own to enter and win the prize money of a talent contest in the next town over.

Review: I'm pretty sure that most people have never heard of Emmet Otter and it's a shame. The Jug-Band Christmas is a Christmas classic and everyone should know what it is. My family has been watching this for as long as I can remember going back to the early 1990s. It is not Christmas without watching Emmet.

The movie itself was amazing back in the 1970s when it was made, but if you watch it now you will just laugh at how bad the puppeteering is. You will smile through out the entire movie and start repeating a lot of the classic dialogue. You will recognize a lot of the voices because it is a Jim Henson movie and a lot of the voices of the Muppets are in the film.

The set is amazing because everything is hand-built and the detailing is some of the best I have ever seen on a landscape model. Everyone should see this movie at least once because Emmet Otter should be a tradition in every family.

Quote you might say after watching this: "I'm not hungry.... I'm HHHUUUNNNGGGRRRYYY!"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 8/10 bottles

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008)

Genre: Musical

Running Time: 45 min

Plot: An up-and-coming supervillan named Dr. Horrible, video blogs about his struggles of balancing his evil career and his pursuit of a young woman he has a crush on.

Review: Dr. Horrible is actually a three part Internet special, but when you watch all three acts together it's more of a musical short film masterpiece. My best friend introduced Dr. Horrible to me on Netflix, and as a big fan of musicals and superheros, it was the perfect short movie someone can make.

Neil Patrick Harris is the perfect cast for Dr. Horrible and the short film wouldn't work without him. All of the songs are very entertaining and you will find yourself tapping your feet along with the beat. The screenplay is creative and will have you laughing out loud through most the movie as you sympathize with Dr. Horrible.

Even though Dr. Horrible is the star, Captain Hammer throws in his cocky ego and adds to the pure amazingness. The best aspect of the film is that it was low budget and seems like a side project that a music/comic book geek did for a senior project at college.

Quote you might say after watching this: "Does anyone else want to start a sing-along blog?"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 10/10 bottles

Due Date (2010)

Genre: Comedy

Running Time: 90 min

Plot: After being kicked off a plane and placed on the "No-Fly" list, Downey hitches a ride cross country with one of the most annoying people in the world: Galifianakis.

Review: Due Date is the follow up movie that was over-hyped because of the success of The Hangover. Todd Phillips is hit or miss to the nth degree for me. Some movies are fantastic like The Hangover, Old School, and Road Trip; however, Due Date and School for Scoundrels almost ruin everything.

Phillips fell for the same mistake he made with School for Scoundrels, and that was casting someone who had tremendous success with a overrated comedian who is only funny in small doses. Galifianakis is great in smaller roles like The Hangover and Out Cold, but his excessive ignorant humor is plain annoying when the movie uses it in almost every scene. Yes, there are a lot of great scenes in Due Date but they are over shadowed by the overacting of Galifianakis.

Even though Phillips made a big mistake with one of his lead roles, his other headliner (Downey) was at the top of his game and makes the movie worth watching. All of the humorous scenes in Due Date except for a few are credited to Downey's acting and sharp tongue. I would definitely recommend this to people if they are fans of Downey Jr. but never pay more than a few dollars to see this.

Quote you might say after watching this: "Why didn't Downey Jr. just leave Galifianakis at the rest stop and save us from the rest of the movie?"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 6/10 bottles

Jackass 3D (2010)

Genre: Comedy

Running Time: 94 min

Plot: What Plot? The Jackass crew get together for their third movie filled with more and more extreme stunts... but now they have slow motion and 3D!

Review: Jackass 3D has the greatest introduction into the movie that rivals Super Troopers and Austin Powers. The intro alone was worth the money I spent because it was with out a doubt the best use of 3D-slow motion cameras I have seen. The ending is also very good using the same style of slow motion and the two scenes pair up as the whole-grain slices of bread that contains the rather hilarious yet disgusting stunt filled movie.

The rest of the movie is pretty much what you should expect from the Jackass guys... over-the-top-gross-painful-humorous pranks and skits. There are definitely some scenes that stand out and might make you nauseous. I almost lost my dinner during the "Sweatsuit cocktail" which was the icing on the cake for me.

The movie is definitely a lot longer than it should be and I lost interest with some of the skits, but it is by far the best movie out of the trilogy.

Quote you might say after watching this: "$20 million well spent!"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 8/10 bottles

RED (2010)

Genre: Action

Running Time: 111 min

Plot: Retired Black-ops agents are targeted by the Government and hunted down by the new class of special forces. Frank Moses contacts and forms an ultimate strike force of retired agents and leads them into the heart of the CIA to stop the attacks.

Review: Nothing can put me in a better mood than watching a action packed comedy (I can think of other activities that put me in a good mood but we are talking about movies here...), and RED is by far a perfect example of what makes me smile.

Everything comes together perfectly including the screenwriting, cast, action, comedy, music, and pure epicness. Bruce Willis is in his comfort zone and makes everything look manly, but John Malkovich steals the show. Malkovich is crazy and corky and is a perfect compliment to Willis' cool demeanor.

If you are a fan of the realistic hand-to-hand combat of the Bourne movies, the clever planning and deliveries of the Ocean movies, and ridiculously unbelievable action scenes of 007, you will leave the movie smiling and thoroughly entertained.

Quote you might say after watching this: "I wish Bruce Willis was my father and John Malkovich was my crazy uncle who is paranoid about everything."

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 9.5/10 bottles

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Genre: Comedy

Running Time: 112 min

Plot: The classic story of an overly skinny young adult male who overcomes obstacles to try and win the love of a rebellious young woman..... except that the obstacles are seven evil-superhuman ex-boyfriends and not something lame like a lack of self-esteem.

Review: Wait.... Michael Cera is starring as geeky young boy who tries to score with a relatively good looking alternative girl.... How can the same movie still be entertaining to watch? Easy, you inject this redundant story into a world of comic books that has a three-way with steroids, ecstasy, and Coke Zero. The tagline says it perfectly: "An Epic of Epic Epicness."

I can't describe how happy I was while watching Scott's adventures scene-by-scene. Maybe it was the company that was with me during the movie that made me so giddy, but I'm pretty sure it was the pure 100% portrait of what every geek at heart imagines.

This movie embodies everything a cinematic adventure strives for.... entertainment value. Yes, the movie according to a snobby stuck-up critic, would be classified as a brainless movie that has no value, but they can go (fill in the blank).

Quote you might say after watching this: "Thank you for making a movie about one of my dreams that I had when I was sleep deprived!"

Bottled Youth Movie Review Rating: 9.5/10 bottles